Rekindling Ideals Of Male Dominance
By Amayos
|
|
Master.
The word evokes an image of male authority and power from our minds, and yet it has intrigued me how the term has been blunted in personal subjugation, so often used synonymously with words like "top" or "dom" in the fetish lexicon.
As the trend of "bondage" has spread into the psyche of broader society, one might say it has become a fashionable novelty of sorts. With the rise of this chimera, the words used to describe roles and ideals within it have gained far too much power of invention, and it is more than a little ironic that the very sub-culture which adopts and over intellectualizes terms such as "Master" and "slave" so often understands those terms the least.
Upon this sits a society gradually shunning natural sex roles in favor of the "eroticization of equality". From childhood, Males in our time are bombarded with a number of social directives which tend to confuse what is expected of them. When a Male is asked to assume the title of Master over a female, it stands to reason there may be an incredible learning curve in store for him to authentically embody the essence of the word.
Sidestepping the trammels of our modern culture, let us imagine the opening question being addressed specifically to D/s enthusiasts. What is a Master, truly? I ask this with the intent to dismiss the play parties, props, fairs, fads and stage play of what so often ultimately equates to sensual escapism. But I would suggest asking this question to even this crowd would result in a lot of confusion and a heated debate over semantics, so I decided to reference a few simple dictionaries to begin answering this question objectively before letting what I've learned get in the way, too. The relevant, literal definitions are as follows:
Master:
1. One that has control over another.
2.
....a. The owner or keeper of an animal:
....b. The owner of a slave.
3. One who has control over or ownership of something.
These are clear enough textbook definitions, but what does the term control mean ? To control is to determine the behavior of and maintain influence and authority over something. With that in mind, one realizes the weight of such an idea, for without understanding of human nature, without an ability to lead, to inspire and to govern properly, one setting out to take on this role over another may find himself well over his head. To be wary of this task is nothing short of wise, for the human being is a tremendously deceitful and manipulative animal, even to itself. Indeed, being a "Master" isn't simply a matter of adopting the title.
Through natural experience and honest reflection, I have come to know a series of simple truths defining what a Master is, and perhaps more importantly, what a Master is not. I admit these are ultimately only my findings, of course, but they seem soild enough foundations to rely upon if one is searching for, or wishes to be, a Master.
A Master does not base his actions from a state of need.
Need is the thought form of the supplicant, not of the noble, dominant will. A Master may desire a servant, but does not look upon one as a requirement to his happiness. He is self-sufficient and capable, seeking a girl to accompany him in a healthy symbiosis—not to complete him. In short, he cannot be manipulated with his own desire, for never is a Male made divine by bending and scraping over the pleasures a female provides, for in so doing, the collar will surely find itself upon him.
A Master is noble, self-actualized and grounded in his strength of character.
A Master does not need popular approval to define him or nurture his esteem, nor will he be swayed from his own sense of what is right when challenged. For without a backbone, what is his shape? Without structure, strength of will and the courage to pursue his own convictions, how can he properly lead? Surely he must be confident and unshakably strong; without such base qualities, he is not respectable. In short, he must be complete within before he can master another without.
A Master truly disciplines and shapes.
When a Master punishes, it is to correct—not reward. Some may find this idea flies in the face of pop bedroom bondage, but our focus is to clarify the reality of the Master, not its kinky facade. If a Master truly wishes to shape his girl correctly, he must not offer discipline as the impetus of an elaborate bedroom game or sensation-based thrill ride. A Master is clear in what pleases him, and does not enable disobedient behavior through his guidance. He rewards obedience with positive reinforcement and corrects with pain of the physical or emotional. Mixing what is punishment and what is reward corrupts and confuses a slave, just as it would a child or pet.
A Master knows dominance is not synonymous with mannerlessness.
While it can be said a Master's natural place above his slave does not require him to observe her with consideration to traditional manners, this is not to say he is at his core devoid of culture, class and refinement. If the male divine is to be attained as much as possible, a man should have in his character all the qualities his role as ruler inspires him to have. By exuding an inherent regality and confidence, he inspirits worship. Ignorance, childishness and vulgarity are surely paths to be avoided.
A Master is open, understanding, wise and intuitive.
Without understanding, one setting out to do a thing will likely fail. On the matter of ruling, the powers of sound judgment, influence, and intuition must be sought and clearly honed. These skills are not effortlessly obtained. As ruler, a Master shouldn't be brash or assuming, or allow his sensual pleasures to override his self-sovereignty. He must be comfortable in his own skin, balanced with knowledge of forethought and understanding always that though he is essentially a teacher, never does he cease to learn.
A Master does not resent what he chooses to keep.
A Master may be displeased with the behavior of his girl, or thoroughly disappointed with her performance of a given task, but never must he secretly harbor contempt for her in any form. A Master is to be strong, comfortable and open in his authority, knowing that resentment is the anger of the coward unable to directly address his displeasure toward what is his.
A Master must not forget his kindness.
If a Master is to be loved, respected and fully obeyed, he must have in him a penchant for harshness and discipline. But as surely as he is cruel, he must know mercy, for nothing can take root on the barren face of rock; there is no soil, no food, or anything upon which to cling. Such is a girl's horror when suffering under relentless cruelty. Without light there is only a blinding darkness. In this, a Master must never forget the power of a gentle touch, of kindness and positive reinforcement.
It is my hope that at least some of the above themes are reflected upon and absorbed by newcomers, or are welcomed as finer points by those who may have experience in Master and slave relationships.
* Dragon image by Michael Whelan. 
|
