Doormat?
Why, Thank You.
By Katie B.
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I've recently noticed that there are measurements by which many judge a female within that horrible alternative lifestyle known as "BDSM," a line where her servility stops being seen as the noble practices of a good servant, and instead becomes the weak actions of the "doormat." I've watched many a discussion unfold where one humbled girl will voice a truly subservient opinion, only to be reprimanded by her sisters for being weak, devoid of personality, and passionless.
Having apparently crossed this line myself and been labeled a doormat in these circles, I feel compelled to understand why I'm being labeled at all. It seems a bit ironic to me that among the very first of those to cry doormat are females who proudly embrace and bear titles such as bitch, slut, and slave. If we look at the definition of these words, how can one justify wearing them with less humility than wearing the title of doormat? How are they less demeaning? The simple and real truth is, they are not.
When speaking of the servility Humbled Females idealizes, females who serve are branded as property, and are all equal in their inferiority and capacity for use. Yet we still have the line being drawn—sometimes even in our own community—to distinguish a difference between the self-assured, independent "submissive" and her powerless and needful counterpart. What is it that gives this one self-styled class of females the right to sneer and frown upon another while thinking so highly of themselves? I feel the answer to that has to do with females losing touch with humility and their proper place.
In an effort to legitimize and normalize "BDSM" in mainstream culture, we see many terms take on more meaning than their actual definitions would suggest. For instance, in spite of its intent to debase and objectify, the word slave is not heard as a simple statement of status, but instead a title of distinction. The imagery of a temple priestess making sacrifices on an altar comes to mind, instead of that of a chamber maid on her hands and knees scrubbing the floor. While this evolution of terms and imagery is in some ways helpful to those involved in "BDSM", it is also failing to properly educate the new and impressionable on the true nature of dominance and submission and the Natural Order. It seems as though a "flexitarian" mindset is being applied to the alternative lifestyle enthusiast, allowing practitioners to incorporate other views, such as feminism, into domination and submission to form a socially acceptable hybrid sub-culture codification. Thus the line is drawn; those who do not fit the accepted description are placed on the other side, and we start to hear negative labels such as "doormat" being used.
While I am sure that there are those who find mainstream "BDSM" to be an accurate description of their lives, there are many of us for whom the literal meanings of the words Master and slave are taken far more seriously, and service as a female is a reality. I believe it is this very thing which garners us so much negativity. Most people are simply not ready for things to be that real. I accept, as other females reading this may, that I am weak, and that I am worthless without the guidance of my Male Keeper. I am wholly devoted to him; my desire is trained on his and I am a tool for his use, whether it is as a priestess in his temple or a chamber maid scrubbing his floors. I am who he says I am and I'm improved by his correction. I will not be accused of being a doormat; instead I will embrace the title willingly, for a doormat is a useful object. I consider it a compliment to be likened to an object which so adequately serves its purpose, and I choose to align myself with whatever title places me beneath the foot of my Master, for that is where I belong.
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